Prickle the Hedgehog
by metime00
Summary: This is about Prickle and his friend Prin, It takes place after Mattimeo. Lost interest
1. Book 1

Book One: Dibbunhood

Prickle just came in from playing outside, and he was excited. "Hurr, oi be a gurt, gurt mole, burr aye!"

He just learned about moles from Geruld Spike, or Mista Spikeyspike as the dibbuns called him. Prickle and Prin, his best friend just found some desert grass from outside, and they crawled down through the roof to get into the underground house, hoping Miss Noodles could make some of her famous healthy, lightly salted Desert Noodles.

Prin ran up to Miss Noodles and exclaimed, "Miz Noddles, I found some desert grasses, by me spikeys I want you ta make noddles n' salt fer me!"

"Not until you finish cleaning your spikes, they're filthy with desert dust, and by _me _spikes you're to go to bed, miss Prin," She replied. Prin started toddling away, and jumped behind Prickle. "I don' wanna go ta bed Miz Noddles, save me gurt moley Prickle!" she screeched hiding behind the tall, plump dibbun.

"I ain't a mole no more. I'm a badgerlord, I stop villainous searat villains," Prickle said with a heroic pose.

"Miz Noddles is a villainy searat, stop her!" Prin continued shrieking at the prospect of cleaning her spikes.

"I beg your pardon, Prin! Apologize this instant and clean your spikes. Geruld Spike! Come and control these hedgebabes," She roared to the hefty hedgehog.

"Must I always fix these problems. C'mon mister Prickle, miss Prin, let's go fight us some searats in the bathtub," He sighed and led both hedgehogs by the hand to the bathtub. Plopping them both into the bathtub.

They were crying and protesting bathtime, and they wouldn't stop until Geruld started telling them poems. He started with one he conjured on the spot.

A searat named, er, Hubb, um, Dubber Doodah Dee

Well, he kinda sailed the open sea

My friend life wasn't good fer me

Because he came, cut down my trees

The trees I used to grow my peas

And hit my knees until I fell

Then I did yell,

"You go to-"

"What are you talking about Geruld?" Called Miss Noodles conveniently.

"I said, 'oh my, hedgehogs, you both do smell!' That's what I said" the rhyming hedgehog quickly shouted back smartly.

Then Miss Noodles called to the dibbuns, "The first one to clean their spikes gets noodles first,"

The two noisy hedgehogs quickly scrubbed their spikes until they believed they scrubbed them off, and climbed out of the bathtub. Prickle pushed Prin down playfully, and started meandering towards the kitchen. Quickly Prin caught up and passed him.

She exclaimed triumphantly upon entry into the kitchen, "You silly, bumblin' 'og. You couldn't even beat me in a wrestlin'!"

"I bet all me noddles fer all yer noddles that I could beat yer with me paws be'ind me back!" Prickle replied toughly.

"It be a deal!" Prin accepted confidently, and got into a crouched hedgehog wrestling position.

Prickle and Prin moved furniture to make sufficient room for a Hog-Wrestle. Then they got into their positions and stances, and started throwing taunts, which is the traditional way to start Hog-Wrestles.

"Yer eyeballs are dumb n' blind!"

"Yew couldn't beat Desert Noddles if'n you were armed with knife and forky!"

"Well, neither could you!"

Then the wrestling began. They slammed into each other with might unheard of by dibbuns. They had their hands crushing the other's shoulder, but neither would let up. Then Prickle tried to ground Prin, and Prin retaliated by strafing to the right and pushing the plump, sweaty hedgehog to the ground.

"It okay, Prickley, I will give you some of mine," Prin said sympathetically.

"Thanky Prin, you be'n my best friend," Prickle sniffled, and picked himself up.

Together the two buddies went to get their light brown Desert Noodles.

* * *

"Ironspike, my good mate, are we bally there yet?" The hare inquired the bulky hedgehog. 

"You ask me that one more time I'm gonna rip yer floppy ears off, ya stinkin' bunny," Ironspike growled, and his threats are not to be taken lightly.

"Ya don' hafta be such a blinkin' crank, wot," the hare said annoyingly.

The Hedgehog whirled around and pinned the hare, standing on his legs, and holding his arms, "I'm serious."

The hare stopped talking for a few hours, but he always starts again.

"When will we be there? I want to get to that confounded place, wot, wot," The hare would never stop asking.

"Why do you want to go to the stinkin' flamin' mountain anyways? I'm beginning to think the dagger you gave me wasn't worth this," The hedgehog regretted this, but he dare not go back on his word, for the sake of honor.

The two unlikely companions trudged through the desert for another day, but it wasn't long before they happened upon some vermin.

"Let's follow them, it'll be like the Long Patrol, wot!" The hare suggested excitedly.

"Finally, an outlet fer all me frustrations. If'n any o' these vermin survive, they're gonna owe their misfortunes to you, 'cause it's your fault I'm gonna kill them," The warrior hog grunted happily.

They followed the vermin for a day, and that night they decided to eavesdrop. They sneaked up behind a tent with light, and dropped on their bellies listening to the plans of the rogues.

"I say we go and take a ship from some of those stupid searats,"

"Aye, rats is so stupid they would give us a ship if we showed them a badge, or something,"

"That's stupid, Flakcut! Why would we show them a medal?"

Flakcut responded harshly, "I happen to know you lick the desert, sand eater, yer dumber than a stupid rat,"

Then the vermin started fighting, with Flakcut winning after he yelled, "I'll kill yer, yew stupid stoat!"

But before he could stab his rival with his spear, Ironspike and the floppy-eared beast cut the stakes holding up the tent, sending it crashing down on the arguing vermin.

"Time to leave, old chum," The hare quickly whispered.

* * *

"That was the best noddles to ever touch my tongue," Prickle said patting his rotund tummy. He had just finished his helping of Desert Noodles, and he was stuffed. 

Then the two dibbuns climbed out of the underground house to find more desert grass. They had been taught a few numbers, and were eager to count things.

"There be one buggy. It be beetle buggy," Prickle said knowingly, "Ooh, and there be three grass! I be a learned 'og, yep! Prin be smarty too!"

"I see one, two, three… almost a hundred sands!" Prin yelled triumphantly.

"Silly Prin! There's at least twenty-two," Prickle corrected, and looked over Prin's shoulder, "Oh, you're right, there's only a hundred,"

"A hundred is a lot Prickle," Prin said flatly, "We're not even a hundred seasons old, Mista Spikeyspike isn't even that seasony,"

"Miss Noddles is a hundred seasons old!" whispered Prickle to Prin.

Prin agreed while nodding her head, and suggested they go inside and find some dessert. They quietly walked into the kitchen, and started sneaking. Prickle pointed to a jar in a cupboard. Prin stood on Prickle, and climbed onto the counter. She silently crawled to the cupboard, and plucked the jar from its rest.

Suddenly Miss Noddles was heard, "Geruld where are you?"

Prin tossed the jar to Prickle who jumped to catch the flying container of sweets, and fell down. She started running and jumped off the counter, and the two friends ran into their room, unnoticed. When Miss Noodles appeared at the doorway, the dibbuns were fast asleep, and the jar hidden.

The next day the dibbuns snacked periodically on the stolen candied chestnuts. They were taught more about numbers, and of course since Geruld Spike was teaching them about it, it had something to do with war.

He made himself ready, and drew a number five in the sand, "If there are more than five opponents of the same skill and strength as you, run. If it's less than you can probably take 'em. Now count how many clouds there are."

Prickle and Prin observed the sky for a few moments, "There be none, nope, none. Can we get Desert Noddles now?" Prickle popped a candied chestnut into his mouth and held his feet.

Then Prin stated, "There be none 'cause clouds mean rain, and we don't get rain. I remember when we got rain once, for four seconds, it was fun."

"You're right Prin, that's why we don't have baths every week. It's a plain and simple life out here, but I love it. Everywhere else has so much war and strife, out here there's nobeast but us," The nostalgia of having baths every week reminded Geruld of his old life.

"I see one, two, three, four, five, um…" Prin forgot what came after five, so she stopped talking.

Quickly Prickle finished her sentence, "Sixed, seven, eight, nine. Nine searats, I counted to nine, Prin!"

The only beast out of the twelve in the desert that wasn't excited about the discovery of each other was Geruld Spike.

* * *

Ironspike and his hare pulled back after bringing down the tent, and then they laid low, literally. The two travelers had to lay on the hot sand to escape being seen by the vermin, but they still followed. After a day's worth of traveling, the vermin stopped and looked like they were going to attack something. 

"My good prickly friend, it looks like they're gonna attack some poor beast, wot. We better take 'em by surprise," The hare suggested.

"That's a good idea, my annoying rabbit. I'll be able to lay half of them flat before I go down," Ironspike whispered in his rough voice while inspecting his blade.

"And I'll take down the other blinkin' half, wot!" The hare smiled, and started to get excited.

They got up and ran after they saw the vermin start to charge, but they couldn't get to the scoundrels before they got to their victim, an unusually large hedgehog and two dibbuns. They charged into the battle, the hare shouting taunts as he punched and kicked wildly, not caring which vermin he hit. Ironspike got to the victims of the attack and fought side by side with the other hedgehog.

"Hello, my 'og brother. Why are you in the middle of this here desert?" the hedgehog warrior asked while ridding a ferret of his arm. He could tell that this hedgehog didn't enjoy the fighting.

"Trying to get away from things like this," He answered while indicating the fight going on around him. All the blood was beginning to make him queasy, but he dare not stop, or run away.

The battle was soon over, and the survivors introduced themselves.

"Hi, I'm Geruld Spike. Thank you two for saving me and my dibbuns."

"I'm Ironspike. It was my pleasure brother 'og."

"I'm Prickle, and this is Prin."

"Hiya! I be called Prin by everybeast!"

The hare had made himself unnoticeable for the introductions, but now he would make it clear to everyone who he was, "Hallo, me buckoes! My name is… Commandah Vermin Bashah. Try saying that five times fast, 'cause I can't even bally do that! I beat up vermin with my fists and my feet, and that's how I got my name, wot, wot."

* * *

**Please review. This is my first Fan Fiction, but I think it's pretty good**


	2. Book 2, Part 1

**This is part 2 of my story, Or actually part one of book two, which will probably have four parts. Thanks to my two reviewers, Awsomewriter123 and shoman who were so nice in their reviews of book 1.**

* * *

Book Two: Gibbetguts

"Then good Miss Noodles let me stay and help keep you 'ogs in line ('cause Geruld Spike wasn't doing a very good job). That's how I became a resident at this here place," Commandah Vermin Bashah, or Verm, as everyone called him, was just finishing his story about how he met Prickle and Prin, who were now young adult hedgehogs.

Prin was pondering while Verm was finishing his story, as she remembered somebeast never mentioned, "Wasn't there a hogwarrior with you? Yes, there was a hogwarrior. Tell me about him,"

The boxing hare was nervous and uncomfortable on the subject of Ironspike, so he tried in vain to derive Prin's attention, "why don't I sing you the little song about me, hmm? Good, great, bally fantastic!"

"My name's Commandah Vermin Bashah  
Surrender vermin, or I'll smash ya!  
C'mon cowards, or I'll chase ya!  
It's a good thing you got numbahs,  
'cause ten's to much for the vermin bashah!"

His stalling was in vain, because Prin persisted with her questions. Verm finally caved and explained the story of Ironspike, "Alright Prin I'll tell you about ol' Ironspike. You see, he's a wanderer and a loner, so he left after the fight. He was sad about it, having quickly become friends with Geruld, but he said he might meet me again," The Hare was sad, talking about what happened, and hoped that the story was enough, because it was all that happened.

Prin was convinced and asked politely, "Maybe we could look for him tomorrow? We could have Prickle cook us some Desert Noodles. It would be fun and an excellent way to learn my skills!"

Then Prickle called from the kitchen where he was cooking a little batch of Desert Noodles, the recipe was passed down to him when Miss Noodles became too old, "Wherever you two boxing hares go, I'm coming to make sure this food has justice done to it. You two probably don't even know how to eat; you're all so hyped up on punching rats. You haven't even fought a rat anyway! You don't know what it's like to take the life of another beast. What's so great about fighting with your fists anyway?" Prickle didn't like the fact that Prin spent more time with her trainer in hand-to-hand combat than him, her dibbunhood friend.

Prin walked into Prickle's kitchen, and tried to persuade him, "C'mon Prickle, you can come if you beat me in Hog-wrestling!" She knew he loved good old fashioned Hog-wrestling, Geruld Spike taught it to them when they were dibbuns, but now that they were unusually tall hedgehog adults, and it wasn't a game. It was a real challenge, and Hog-wrestling was made for betting on the matches.

"Alright!" Prickle put up his spoon and took off his apron. He prepared himself and started the ceremonial insult throwing, but the insults ended incredibly quickly.

Prin may have had hand-to-hand knowledge, but he was larger and better at crude combat, due to his strength, which also helped with stirring and mixing. Prickle charged and Prin dodged, but he was ready for it and grabbed Prin and started pushing her down. She pushed her legs towards the ground and pushed the muscular arm away. Turning to face Prickle again, Prin was caught off guard, as Prickle wouldn't give her time to regain a good stance. He bear hugged Prin and pinned the hedgehog maid on the rug they wrestled on. He pinned her for the full fifteen seconds and with the last second passing by, he won.

"It's settled! I'm coming with you, and there's nothing you can do about it. I will be able to spread Desert Noodles everywhere," Prickle was thoroughly enjoying his victory, despite the fact that he always wins.

Prin knew she could make her silly hedgehog friend happy by challenging him to a Hog-wrestle. She smiled to herself as they packed up and got ready to leave. Prin was thinking about how life was before, when it was peaceful and un-exciting, it was bland, and she was happy. The hedgehog maid looked back once more at the trapdoor entrance to the little underground hut that she called home. She remembered Miss Noodles passing away, and Geruld becoming more focused on the bare necessities. How he stopped telling war poems and hedgehog songs, and how eventually, Prickle and she were the adults. Prickle would cook, and Prin would train and goof off with Verm. She was happy with her new life, but she was sad with all the things that happened, and she wished she could go back and relive them. Not to redo something, but just to be a dibbun with caretakers trying to track you down, and to be carefree. But Geruld would be fine, he was able to get food, and water, but she was still sad. Despite the nostalgia and her sadness, she knew she had to look forward, and make her way through life.

Then the trudging began, and none other than Verm and Prickle complained first. They would talk about how hungry and tired they were, and that was a bond they had between them. They were whiners, and really annoying ones at that.

"Oh, be quiet, you two. Surely big men like you can do everything a dainty little hog-maid can. So quit your whining and start hiking," Prin was enjoying being the most fit out of the three, and she was planning to whip those two lazy beasts into shape on this journey.

A week went by with very little event. Prin put Verm and Prickle through boot camp­­, her style. They jogged half the hike, and searched for food the other half, with Prin leading them through thick and thin. More specifically, thick desert grass and thin desert grass, and Prickle made noodles out of nearly every blade.

"Bally darn Prin! I want out of this training, I'm supposed to be the boss, wot, wot. Commandah Vermin Bashah demands a bloomin' break," Verm was not at all happy about vigorous exercise, or his apprentice being the master. He expressed his feelings in the way she hated most, whining.

Prin heard something rustling in the sand, and she dropped to the ground. Immediately after her, Verm also dropped, but it took Prickle a while to catch on. Prin suggested a possible action, "I think Prickle should jump up and see what's makin' all that noise."

Prickle shrugged and did as suggested, and he saw a rat and a stoat, both of them evil looking and armed. He said they could take them, so he took out his hatchet. Verm and Prin readied their fists to charge into battle. Prickle went in first with his hatchet drawn, identifying the weapons that the vermin carried. They noticed him and drew their weapons. The stoat wielded two knives, but the rat, being larger and bulkier, was armed with a longsword and shield. The rat also looked like the commander of the two, and someone who would be worth something if captured.

"Here it looks like there be a big 'edge wid a liddle 'atchet. Let's slay 'im wid 'is own axe," The stoat recommended, but the rat whacked him with his shield on the shoulder.

"You idiot, we'll kill 'im with our weapons, not 'is," And the two vermin approached Prickle menacingly.

But the trio of good beasts were ready, and when the villains came too close, the group attacked. Prickle swung hard at the big rat, but he calmly brought his shield up, but the hatchet was swung with enough force to dent the shield and stop the rat. Verm went at the stoat and rapped him once on each cheek, knocking him down. Prin attacked the rat, and jabbed him in his side after his blocking of Prickle's blow. After being hit in his side, the rat dropped his weapon and surrendered.

Verm was not convinced, and after whacking the stoat upside the head with his foot, he turned towards the rat, "let's slay 'em, or leave 'em out here. The little vermin group better spit out whatever information they know."

Prickle decided he should question them, "Are you part of a group? What group, who's the leader, what is he trying to do, and where is he? Answer all of these truthfully and maybe I won't kill you with me own 'atchet," the tone of his questioning showed his mean side, and Prin was surprised at his toughness, and seriousness.

"I'm in a army, about five score, a fox. A fox leads this 'alf of the army, and 'e's just looking for a place to conquer. Up in the Northernlands, that's where 'e is," The rat was shaking with fear, but knew he would get rescued somehow. Fragorg would never leave Gibbetguts, his best rat, behind with two hedgehogs.

He was prisoner to Prin, Prickle and Verm for a week. Eventually traveling north they found a small encampment, "Definitely not the fox's, way too small," In the words of Gibbetguts. They approached it slowly, trying to find what it was all about. All they found was some vermin waiting.

"Stupid pigs, and stupid 'are! Stupid Gibbetguts got caught by stupid liddle 'edgepigs. Let's see what Larynat wants to do with you," one of the soldiers said.

In walked Larynat, a female weasel with a bow, not as evil-looking as the other vermin. She seemed to prefer thinking and killing large foes with her poisoned arrows. "Silly little horde-beasts, I want them all thrown into the cage. Don't hurt them, and that means all of you. Gibbetguts would have the same thing done to him if Fragorg were here."

"What! Yew irritating vermin, Yew! I'm gonna kill yer, I'm gonna rip yer skull the skull of all yer stupid idiots. Imprison me and strip of my rank, me and the other three beasts is gonna kill yer!" His ferocity scared Larynat and the rest of the army. They tried to take them to the cage, but Gibbetguts wouldn't have it, he throttled Larynat and had to be knocked out after half killing her. He wouldn't get knocked out the first time they hit him, but that allowed the slimy weasel to squeeze out of his grasp. Gibbetguts spun around on his back and kicked off the ferret restraining him, and he made a run for it. Despite all that, he still was captured and on Larynat's orders stuck in the cage.

For a few hours he was trying to get out, but eventually stopped.

Prin tried to keep everyone's hopes up, "We'll be fine, we're going to get out of here. Then, we're gonna take revenge on these snot faced vermin!" But being prisoner to vermin was anything but nice, or peaceful. Soon everyone's attitudes would be changed.

But for the moment three out of the four prisoner's hopes were up, as Gibbetguts was consumed with hatred. Four days living off bread crusts and barely enough water took their toll on the four beasts.


	3. book 2, part 2

Fragorg was a fox, and a smart one at that. He had successfully defeated an army of seventy rats, with only a small skirmish force of twenty. He did so by outmaneuvering, and training his troops, so they were disciplined. Now he had many more under his command. His worst decision was giving the weasel, Larynat, control of a quarter of his forces, however, this was a necessary decision because he needed another leader. He sent her one of his finest, Gibbetguts, to make sure she didn't fumble in her command.

His current mission was to try and root out Ironspike the hedgehog, and Mark the mouse. Both of them split off into different directions after a skirmish, and that was another reason he split his forces.

"Sah, I saw a foraging party down in that direction, 'e did too," The rat pointed in two directions at once. Fragorg raised an eyebrow, lowered it, and patted him on the shoulder.

"Very well, go get your four men and attack the group. How many of them are there?"

The rat held up five fingers, and promptly said, "Four!" But, after a miscalculation of that proportion he was sent to go and kill the foraging crew, and upon return he was taught a painful lesson in math.

Fragorg smiled and congratulated the rat, "Good work, my soldier. But," his smile turned to rage, "Five fingers equals five lashes, you dimwitted rat!" The rat received five exceedingly painful lashes from Fragorg himself. The rat never ignored the dangers of miscalculations again.

There were more important matters to attend to, however, so Fragorg decided to go out hunting. He was not one to shy away from a few days of hunting, yes, one score of troops and him, the perfect hunting party. "Alright, mates, now that the brain-dead rat is taking out the hunting party we're going to track. We're going hunting!" His score of hunters, consisting mainly of foxes, yelled, whooped, and hollered at the opportunity to hunt. They remembered when they found an encampment of tents by following their foragers, and the squirrels and mice never stood a chance. The hunters were the most skilled in the Northernlands.

* * *

Ironspike was doubtful of the efficiency of this ragtag group, but they were determined. They weren't the silly woodland type of beasts, they could and would be whipped into shape. Three days later and they know how to swing a sword and execute simple guerilla maneuvers.

Then a scout came with grave news, "Boss, we have lost a foraging band!"

Ironspike cursed and responded after a moment, "I've compromised a plan; we will meet their hunters head on, as they are coming for this camp as we speak."

Ironspike assembled his troops. A group of squirrel archers were positioned in woods on a hill, and his main group was hidden among the rocks near the cliff. Ironspike put his advancing foes between a cliff and squirrel archers, a bad day for the vermin. The hour they had before the hunters were seen had the small army fortifying their position. The hill had camouflaged walls made of sticks, and the cliff's many ledges found light colored mice slingers hiding on them. Surely the hunters attack would fail, and then, counter-attack!

Fragorg's forces approach the camp's defenses unaware of the resistance they will encounter. They charge at the camp, but the force is met by a score of squirrel archer's arrows, then slings from the camouflaged mice. The hunters rage against the hidden warriors, and the two bands meet with a clash. The troops that reveal themselves too early are tossed into the air by foxes, and the beasts left behind are eaten on the spot. Ironspike and his hedgehogs meet Fragorg's best hunters after their attempt to flank Ironspike's base. The tough hedgehogs matched the strength of the foxes, as did they the vermin's ferocity. The Iron Hogs had the advantage, because the hunters underestimated the hedgehogs fighting capabilities. All but Fragorg, however, who decapitated two hedgehogs with one swing of his impressive mace, which was too large for one paw to hold. Regardless, Fragorg's hunters were utterly crushed.

Fragorg howled for a retreat back to their base, and the hunters left back to their camp. Ironspike and his troops pursued the running foxes to their camp, and the real fighting began. Fragorg sped and swerved through his grunts to get to the back lines. His bow twanged as he joined the rat archer's volley, which killed many unprepared mice. The Iron Hogs saw the fox warlord's retreat and flanked their adversaries. Ripping through a score of archers Ironspike reached Fragorg.

While the elite Iron Hogs attacked the archers the general hog chased Fragorg through the deserted camp. Fragorg would weave behind a tent, but Ironspike would simply slash a hole through the tent and jump through it. The hedgehog picked up a stick and beamed it at Fragorg's leg. The fox tripped and turned as to face his short, muscular pursuer. Ironspike pointed his sword-tip at Fragorg, "Your reign is over, I will win this battle, and so this war. You've trifled with the wrong beast, Fragorg, I won't spare you!"

Fragorg's eyes widened at the revelation, but soon regained and doubled his anger and ferocity. He would take the rebel down with him. Fragorg swat away the sword jumped up and picked up his battle-mace, "Come at me Iron-hog, this ends now!"


	4. Book 2, part 3

Ironspike spun around and sliced at the grounded Fragorg, but he parried with his mace. The fox jumped to his feet and snarled as he brought down his mace at the hedgehog, who rolled to the right and attempted to sever Fragorg's achilles tendon. He aimed too high and instead sliced the fox's calf. Fragorg groaned in pain, but kept fighting strong, by turning around in full swing, catching the hog off guard. Ironspike was knocked back into a barrel of ale. Licking his ale-drenched paw, he ran at the fox at swung towards the vermin's chest. Fragorg blocked it and tripped Ironspike with his bleeding leg. Ironspike was splattered with blood and quickly intercepted his fall. Then he saw some of Fragorg's archers fired at him. The general-hog dashed behind a crate, and took out a sling.

"I better be lucky," He quickly muttered to himself as he pulled out his sling, hoping a few days of sling training would allow him to fight back. He started swinging it and leaped from behind his cover letting loose his sling at the encroaching archers. The distraction of his slinging was enough for an attack. Ironspike charged in with a war-yell frightening and cutting down the dumbstruck rat archers. Still charged with adrenaline he let loose a hacking blow to Fragorg's arm, cutting to bone. The fox clutched at his good arm and dropped his mace, weeping and whimpering in pain. Ironspike showed no mercy when he spoke, "You should have known not to mess with me. I'm not a fat, drunk Redwall hog; I'm a northern hog, and I am going to end your conquest." Ironspike stabbed Fragorg through his rib and twisted his sword, breaking the surrounding ribs. It was done.

Ironspike went back to the battle with Fragorg's entire body, holding it up for all his army to see, "Your hunters, and your leader is dead. Slain by my sword, surrender and I will make your death a short one!" The momentary distraction was a strategy Ironspike was itching to employ. While he talked, archers pulled back their string, and soldiers drew their slings, and when he finished the projectiles were let loose, and the enemies were quickly defeated. The arrows and stones were followed by a charge, surrounding and killing the vermin.

The camp was searched, and Ironspike found a note which said:

Fragorg, I'm going to go to Mossflower, yes I'm abandoning you

But don't worry, I gave you these prisoners, you silly fox

From,

Larynat

Ironspike looked around and saw a cage, and in it was two hedgehogs, a hare, and a rat, none of which he recognized. All of them were so scrawny, so he freed all of them, including the rat.

It was late noon when Ironspike found Gibbet, Prickle, Prin, and Verm. Ironspike was surprised that they were looking for him. He was told about what happened while he was gone in the Northernlands.

"I have won the war, but I'm still not satisfied. I need to find Larynat, and put an end to her."

Prickle had a different idea, "I think I should cook some desert noodles, and then we feast! _Then_ we chase the weasel."

Prin had about the same idea, "While you're doing that I'll start rummaging through Fragorg's food!"

Verm also liked the idea, "I want scoff so jolly bad I'd eat some bloomin' wood, wot!"

So the feast was prepared. Prickle cooked some noodles with the dry, tan desert grass in his pockets, the drier the better, he would say. Prin helped some other hedgehogs make raspberry jelly rock cakes. Verm looked for some drink, and found two caskets of blackcurrant wine, because foxes like wine. The mice had a few season old barrels of nutbrown beer.

It was a great feast, everybeast was jolly to be free of Fragorg. They danced and ate five courses. Prickle found a whole crate filled with desert grass, two seasons old, extra crispy. He made the best desert noodles, even better than Miss Noodles herself. Verm showed Ironspike and his army a dance and song. The dance had Verm tapping his heel and his foot, and moving his arms as if he was marching.

Uncle Verm will eat the scoff

Bum, bum, biddledee bum

Uncle Verm will eat the scoff

Bum, bum, biddledee bum

Uncle Verm will eat the scoff

Toodle dee, bumblebee

Yum, yum, yum

Ironspike had the biggest reaction, as he fell on the floor laughing, exclaiming how idiotic Verm was. Everybody laughed.

Verm however did not, "If you don't bally like I'll leave, sniff, sniff, achoooo! Boohoohoo" He started bawling like a hare scorned.

Ironspike quickly changed his tone, "I hate that silly rabbit!"

After the feast there were games, most of which involved destroying something that once belonged to Fragorg. Then there were hog-wrestles, Prickle and Ironspike beat everybody they went up against, and now it was time for them to face each other.

Ironspike grinned and said, "you got guts to go up against me, I just killed that fox, ya know,"

Prickle snorted and retorted, "Then c'mon shorty, show me what yer made of!"

Ironspike charged but Prickle held his ground. Prickle tried to flip the shorter hedgehog sideways but Ironspike head-butted Prickle. Then he took three steps back and pushed Ironspike to the ground, face first. Then Prickle pinned the Iron-hog, and therefore won the match. The victor then stood up and flexed his muscles.

Verm and Prin never realized how strong Prickle became since his chubby dibbun days.

Gibbet was getting impatient, "Let's go to Mossflower Woods, and kill that witch of a weasel. I know where it is, and with an army we could destroy her!"

Ironspike had something to say about this, being the army's general, "This isn't an army," He indicated the bulk of the rebels, "they are northern beasts, they will stay here and rebuild the homes Fragorg destroyed. My Iron-hogs, however, live to fight! We will go to Larynat with them!"

This brought about a roar of approval, from the rebel beasts and Iron-hogs, both happy to get what they want, war and peace.

They traveled south until they found the edge of the Northernlands, being connected to the mainland by only a small strip of land on the west side of the continent. They used three crude boats to travel the short distance, and the ships where left by the other shore.

They hiked through Mossflower uneventfully, until the pond. Actually, it was more of a pond strewn out about a large distance, and not even paw deep. But it was eerie, and still, save a constant knocking sound.

"Quiet, there might be a bird watching us or something else dangerous," Ironspike ordered his elites. Everyone else followed the command as well, because they knew Iron-hog knows best.

All of a sudden, a redheaded, brown bodied woodpecker jumped out from a tree. It landed with a thump and started pecking at the water, upsetting its unnatural silence. Verm, Gibbet, and the other beasts of the group, all hedgehogs, put paws on weapons, and readied for attack.

"Ratatahk! Grub-newt, surrender! Tatahk!" The woodpecker snapped in the midst of pecking at its prey.

The prey was, in fact, a newt, with a bow. He ran backwards with uncanny precision while chugging out arrows at a quick pace. All the while he was speaking very loudly, in an odd dialect, "He-eeyoo, ratatatahk and arl that! Just basking in the shade, and mer perday comees to _me_! Oohooheehoo-eeyoo!"

The wood pecker fell with five precision shots to the spot where the head meets the neck. The newt scurried to the fallen bird on all fours, then drew back his string armed with five arrows. He let fly to the head of the large, feathered beast, puncturing the brain and killing it instantly. The newt turned to the group, "He-eeyoo!"

Verm waved briskly and in a friendly manner, and inquired, "Might you know where a weasel with many vermin is going, wot? By the way, what's your name?"

The newt answered, quickly and triumphantly, like most of his talking was, "Lareesel be goin' to Reedwarl, nice place, Biggeree pondee! I be snek there at derk! Whater's pray bein a name?!"

Prickle knew this answer, "A name is what your called, and thanks for the other answers."

"Commee arn! I show tee-oo! Be caller me Bow-newtener-eeyoo!"

And then the group followed Bow-newt to Redwall, where their adventures would continue.


End file.
